The One Big, Ugly Bill

On Thursday morning, the House of Representatives narrowly passed a bill with a vote of 215 to 214. In a stunning display of unity, all Democrats and two brave Republicans stood against it, while one Republican opted for the ever-mysterious “present” vote.

Dubbed the “One Big Beautiful Bill Act,” this legislative masterpiece combines a staggering $1 trillion in cuts to federal health and food programs with nearly $4 trillion in tax cuts, primarily benefiting billionaires with just crumbs for the middle class. Who needs health insurance anyway? After all, the Congressional Budget Office has estimated that these spending cuts could leave around 8 million Americans without health coverage, primarily due to the slashing of Medicaid. But hey, who’s counting?

The Congressional Budget Office also chimed in this week, warning that the legislation would significantly reduce resources for lower-income households, thanks to its generous cuts to Medicaid and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program and raise the national debt!  

“This is one big, ugly bill that House Republicans are trying to jam down the throats of the American people, under the cover of darkness,” declared House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries (N.Y.) in a passionate speech just before the vote. “This legislation will not make life better for the American people.”